My Journey to Find My Inner Happiness — Yet I Ended with a Total Waste of Time

Book review of Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse or just OM.

Om. I am Siddhartha. I am so cool. My father is a holy man (or something like that — who remembers?). We’re all so pure and enlightened om, and I’m obviously beyond my peers om, because I know the secret to life. Om om om.

Om Govinda, my faithful sidekick, I am bored. Om om om. My inner talk: I need to explore the world. But wait — I need money. Let me beg because I am way too holy to actually work. Om om om. Govinda, you go be a monk or whatever. I’ve got things to do. Om om om.

OMG. A hot lady. Om om om. Her name is Kamala. I must talk to her. Om om om. But wait — she won’t even look at me unless I learn how to dress, walk, talk, and maybe make some money but begging would not be enough. Om om om.

Omg look at those lips. I’m gonna have sex with her. Om om om. And now? I have money. OMG, I’m young, free, and living the dream. Sex, parties, and worldly goods. Om om om. Or maybe just OMG.

Fast forward: I’m feeling… guilt? Or maybe I’m just bored of this never-ending lifestyle. Om. Time to drop everything and wander again. Andiamo!Om om om.

Oh hey, there’s my old mate! Boatman? Remember me? Let’s get spiritual and deep, like we’re smoking weed by the river. Om om om. Oh wait — the river is actually talking to me. Om. Once holy, always holy. Om.

Hey Govinda! OMG, you look old. Om. How’s the monk life treating you?
Govinda: OMG, Siddhartha, you’re not aging — you’re just getting wiser. Om om om. OMG om om.

Kamala, long time no see! OMG, this is my boy? He’s perfect because, well, he’s mine. Om. Let me turn him into a weirdo just like me. Om om. (Spoiler alert: Thank God the boy is smart and escapes.) Om om om.

And now? I’ve found the meaning of life again (shocker) and, honestly, I think I identify as Buddha. Om om om.